Threads doesn’t deserve my FOMO, but here we are

Rest, heart. Do not add another social network, regardless of FOMO.

Resisting the latest fad app is harder than expected. Meta (Facebook) is launching Threads, the millionth Twitter clone and Apple’s number-one app, with unusual calm.

Instagram is already promoting Threads. Instagram says, “____, ____ and 1 other posted on Threads for the first time” on my notifications screen, which usually contains dopamine-inducing likes. Arthur’s Fist meme

Isn’t this tiresome? Have we, the terminally online, complained about Twitter for years? Is a duller app needed? I hear the buzz as I ask these questions. My friends are discussing Threads.

Yesterday, a DJ mentioned the app on the radio as I drove to the allergist. They said, “Everyone’s joining Threads. Everyone’s telling jokes like it’s the first day of school. However, deleting Threads requires deleting Instagram.

As my coworkers chatted in Slack earlier in the day, resident social expert Natalie Christman said reporters could share their Threads usernames with her if they wanted to be tagged. Threads were discussed in another friend-group Slack. In writing this post, I went back to listen. “Should I sign up for Threads for the inevitable $2 class action settlement?” one friend joked.

Funny friends. “@harri” available? Stand firm.

At a band rehearsal, our bassist said she joined Threads and is gaining followers. “Becoming a boomer” prevented our singer from joining. I said I would never and encouraged our bassist to make the band a Threads.

I bargained inside. Joining wouldn’t hurt. If history repeats, I’ll fall off with everyone in a few weeks.

I have little to lose or gain. Compared to Bluesky, Threads seems like a privacy nightmare. After trying the latter service, the new-app smell has faded.

Despite my dislike, I still use Twitter. I wonder how many remember the other Twitter clones’ names.

Congratulations if Facebook has a long-term hit. I don’t think any Twitter clone will last.

Are Threads users missing anything? Is Facebook too prudish to challenge Twitter? Could I peek at your screen?